Afternoon, and welcome to today’s Notes from the Hamster Wheel, coming direct to you from Casa Hamster Cage, chez Benjamin Jink’s bedroom – that’s a bit of Spanish for you (casa – means house) as well as a bit of French (chez – means at or from).
Top 5 – Perils for hamsters
1. Outdoors – like anywhere outdoors. We don’t want to go there. It’s HUGE… and full of things that would like a nice hamster-sized snack. So please, don’t think you’d be doing me a favour by setting me free, or releasing me into the wild. It’s called WILD for a reason.
2. A mate – do you want a hamster bloodbath, in your bedroom? I think not. We are SOLITARY creatures. That means we like it ON OUR OWN.
4. Being mistaken for a feather duster – yes I know I'm fluffy but really?
5. Sisters who want to play dress-up. I hate younger sisters (sorry if any younger sisters are reading this). Dressing-up with younger sisters usually involves tutus or tiaras and whilst not exactly life-threatening, it does nothing for a hamster’s self esteem or machismo.
Ooh, just talking of those perilous scenarios has made me come over all a-quiver. Scary stuff! I think I may need a fortifying spin on the old wheel, catch you later…