Top 5 perils for hamsters

Afternoon, and welcome to today’s Notes from the Hamster Wheel, coming direct to you from Casa Hamster Cage, chez Benjamin Jink’s bedroom – that’s a bit of Spanish for you (casa – means house) as well as a bit of French (chez – means at or from).

 I think it’s time we talked danger, peril and life or death situations. Now, I am a very courageous and brave hamster – but there are limits to my bravery, and there are numerous perils out there for small, furry creatures like me.

Top 5 – Perils for hamsters 

1. Outdoors – like anywhere outdoors. We don’t want to go there. It’s HUGE… and full of things that would like a nice hamster-sized snack. So please, don’t think you’d be doing me a favour by setting me free, or releasing me into the wild. It’s called WILD for a reason.

2. A mate – do you want a hamster bloodbath, in your bedroom? I think not. We are SOLITARY creatures. That means we like it ON OUR OWN.

3. Cats, dogs and other household pets. Cats like to eat us and dogs like to chase us- both scenarios are not good, and can ultimately end in a nasty furball.

4. Being mistaken for a feather duster – yes I know I'm fluffy but really?

5. Sisters who want to play dress-up. I hate younger sisters (sorry if any younger sisters are reading this). Dressing-up with younger sisters usually involves tutus or tiaras and whilst not exactly life-threatening, it does nothing for a hamster’s self esteem or machismo.

Ooh, just talking of those perilous scenarios has made me come over all a-quiver. Scary stuff! I think I may need a fortifying spin on the old wheel, catch you later…